Our Feelings Are Our Paths to Knowledge
Audre Lorde said it best: “Our feelings are our most genuine paths to knowledge”
Undoubtedly, you’ve felt many, many things about your sex and sensuality over the years. If we’re being honest with ourselves as (current or former) Church Girls, those feelings haven’t always been good ones. We often find ourselves at odds with our love for God and the very real desires of our bodies, the longing in our hearts for toe-curling physical passion.
And honestly, how could we not have that conflict? We live in a world where sex has been named everything but holy. We’ve turned such a beautiful experience into one that is covered in shame, transgression, and violence.
We’ve been taught that our sexual selves should be saved for marriage alone. But what happens when marriage hasn’t happened for you yet? What if you should decide you never wish to marry? Should you be relegated to a life without sexual pleasure?
What if I told you that your sexuality doesn’t suddenly begin with “I do”? What if I told you that the sexual desire God created within you began in the womb and grows throughout your lifetime like every other part of your being? What if I told you that sex is not only physical, it is a profoundly personal spiritual experience?
The good news is that I can help you find sexual pleasure without compromising your faith. Holiness is not a flight from our bodies or an aversion to our sensuality.
The Recovering Celibate has been designed to help you drop your shame and pick up your fullness of joy. Together, we will stop the thoughts and actions that lead us to believe in the separation of the sexual and the sacred. Let’s begin our recovery.
Interview: Dr. Joan, a Recovering Celibate
Beginning our awakening can sometimes feel isolating, like we’re the only ones who understand what’s happening to us. And even sometimes we don’t even understand what’s happening. Where do we find our community? Where do we go for support as we work through these new feelings?
Sometimes you just need to be reminded that you’re not alone.
Listen in as Dr. Joan, a Student Affairs professional and Recovering Celibate, sits down with me for some girl talk about God, love, shame, sex and finding freedom.
Feeling Ready to Begin Your Recovery?
This work began with my own feelings, too. Perhaps like you, I was a proud member of the “Purity Culture,” convinced that my celibacy was a golden ticket to heaven and that it symbolized my devout relationship with God. Instead of uplifting and empowering women I was contributing to confusion, hurt and shame.
The more I questioned the culture and history of sexual repression within the church and navigated my feelings, I suddenly began on my path to new knowledge. Suddenly I was free from the shackles of shame. I was a recovering celibate.
Are you struggling to make sense of your vow of celibacy and questioning the what it means to be a dating Christian with real desires? Let’s talk about it.