VIDEO: John Gray: My Womb Ain’t for Wounds

Published On: November 18, 2018

VIDEO: John Gray: My Womb Ain’t for Wounds • Cultural Witness, Deconstruction, Embodied Faith

By: D. Danyelle Thomas

Another Day, Another “Word” from Pastor John Gray.

Pastor John Gray and his loose lips has once again set off the ire of the Interwebs. Recently, Gray appeared on Sister Circle Live where he proudly shared that in his relationship with his wife, Aventer Gray, she has served as his “coat”, covering him while they worked to heal his emotional trauma and wounds. Gray remarked that his wife has suffered more through raising him as a man than she did in giving birth to their two children.

The clip, which has since gone viral, sparked zealous debate and rightful outrage about healthy marriages, particularly for the nuanced experience of Black women. In response to the many criticisms of her husband’s words, Aventer Gray took to Instagram to defend her husband, calling the criticisms an attack of the enemy for the “exposure of his agenda” to destroy the institution of marriage. Typical churchy response. #SheDontWannaBeSaved.

While Aventer is obviously proud to be #chose, the conversation is ultimately not for or about her. For many single Black women, we are constantly confronted with the number of reasons we remain unmarried, not the least of which is our willingness to “do the work” it takes to sustain a marriage. Listen in as I share my thoughts on John Gray, uncompensated emotional labor, and how Black women aren’t required to be anyone’s mule.