The following post is a guest post from Nedalee Thomas of Princess Power. Its contents have only been edited for syntax and flow.
As with all guest posts, the views reflected herein do not necessarily reflect the views of editors or owner of TheUnfitChristian.com
The Bible teaches that fornication is a sin.
Wow! What? I gave my heart to the Lord when I was 5 years old and I’ve been in church my whole life, sometimes as many as five days a week. I even graduated from ministry school a few years ago. While I’ve heard a few preachers preach in passing about fornication, you never hear them bother to define it. It’s always assumed that everyone listening knows what the big F word means. Although it took me years, I finally found out what the pastor meant: he was talking about having sex before marriage.
I know that some people think that biblical concepts are archaic. Yet, I believe that God gives us rules for our own well-being and that He doesn’t always tell us why but it’s for our own good. That doesn’t necessarily make them easy to follow, however. I remained abstinent–which is another word for going without sex–for five full years while going through a divorce and while dating after divorce. Then one night after a little too much kissing, my halo fell off and I went down a forbidden road.
I had always loved sex but unfortunately my former husband didn’t.
In this relationship, I quickly had more sex than I have had in the last 17 years. Sex, glorious sex, was created by God for our enjoyment — inside of marriage. As much as I was enjoying it more than I ever have in my life, I knew what I was doing was wrong because the Bible is so clear on the subject. Casting fear aside, I knew what I needed to do. While I profoundly enjoyed the physical connection between us, I knew I could no longer walk in disobedience to my first love: God, my Father in Heaven.
I really wanted to broach the subject of ceasing to have sex with my partner, but on one hand I didn’t know how to bring it up, and on the other hand I didn’t really want to stop. Whereas I firmly believe that when you’re in a marital relationship that you should never withhold sex, a dating relationship is an entirely different thing. He sensed my discomfort because I had talked about it previously, and he brought up the subject on his own. I’m very proud to say that even though we’re mature adults, meaning in our forties and fifties, we have been able to make the choice to go backwards and are abstaining. I love that he was willing to do that for me. I believe that that shows incredible love and commitment, and I don’t think many men would necessarily do that but I’m proud that mine was willing to.
RELATED: CELIBACY RUINED MY DATING LIFE
We have a joke between us that says if you’re not buying, don’t touch. I constantly tell him, “I’ll buy, I’ll marry you tomorrow after lunch.” But because he is not ready to get married, I know that having sex with him is not the right choice, and when he says “if you’re not buying, don’t touch” he means don’t get me aroused. We don’t fondle each other, we don’t press up against each other, and both oral sex and “hand jobs” are out of the question. While we know that we’re capable of an amazing sexual relationship, we’ve been able to commit that area of our lives back to God and trust Him for the timing that allows us to be married.
God says that obedience is better than sacrifice. Abstinence is indeed sacrifice.
Sometimes I believe that obedience is sacrifice. For me in this case it certainly is. I know that all of us would think that a murderer is a sinner that doesn’t get into heaven, but Moses was a murderer and he was forgiven. We can be forgiven of anything if we ask–except grieving the Holy Spirit. The scripture that really helped me turn back to God and choose Him over my amazing sexual relationship is in Ephesians 5 where it says that fornicators and liars won’t get into heaven. So even if you are not in an inappropriate sexual relationship right now, do you ever lie? There’s so many things that we need to examine ourselves and repent of before we ever begin to judge others.
I hope this little story helps you to take a look at where you might need to recommit an area of your life to the Lord so that we can meet in heaven when we receive our crowns.
Nedalee Thomas of Princess Power is an author, speaker, mother, grandmother, former foster mother, and the founder of seven companies and a non-profit organization. Nedalee went from being a penny pinching homemaker in a mobile home to owning her own multi-million dollar company and living her dream life in Orange County California. When she’s not working, teaching or volunteering, Nedalee can be found at her favorite spot on the beach, kayaking, or dancing the night away, all while still living within her means after donating the majority of her income to charity.